a little less suicidal....

SO...i just got back here and read my last post, which is why i appropriately names this one "a little less suicidal.."
haha

I've found myself moving forward into the winter, taking on tasks larger then i have before..and taking advice better then what i use to. I really needed it to.
Just simple things that maybe i would have let slide through my ears before have now caught my attention, and have showed me its what i need to press on forward.

"keep on keepin' on"

Joe dirt said that..and as sad of reference as that may be....it's simple but true.
so with that said...

i put out a new single "Satisfied"
you can check it out at www.myspace.com/mattkoziol

it's that sexy tune..blaring guitars...tempting lyrics..

i think you'll like it :)

as of my regular life...it's very cold! ahah the weather has caused me some illness..but i'm doing fine! i did however grill outside today! haha see nothing too much happening..i just didn't want to neglect! but i will be back soon! i promise!

CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?......

Listen man, enough is enough....

i just need one person....one person to make that phone call to me that'll say..
"hey matt, this is your life calling...please say your ready."

and i'll respond with..
"i've been waiting on you.."

things are too familiar now..things are just working on the same line.

I NEED THAT CALL.
that email.
that letter.
that text.

...something...

i need my dreams to catch up to reality.


CAN ANYONE HEAR ME.....?

I've got dreams......

DREAMS TO..REMEMBER....

if it hasn't been said enough.
there're the very last thing holding us together as people.
"dreams"
dreams to live,laugh, and love.
Sometimes, getting to that dream isn't as simple as it should be,
but if it was simple, everyone would be happy to fast and not enjoy it.

i've got dreams...dreams to remember

and when the day is done, and all is left in the corner

you'll feel the beating heart, and pray for her

to find her own..

to pave her way..

to make sure all the things she has and want can stay

ohh i've got dreams...

dreams of my broken heart, and sunken eyes

and use my way to realize..that it's all been done before

and i may not be the last

i may be left here standing with my hopes inside my past...

oh ive got dreams.....

yea i got dreams..

Dreams to Remember.

So what?...

I have this funny feeling that sometimes the select few of us in the world "overestimate" our age. We are the young people who could have a better conversation with a 60 year old man from Alabama, then we could with a group of kids we grew up with.

I'm 20 years old, and I'm trying to push my dreams as if i was 65. I sometimes feel like i don't have enough time, or I'm too old to really do what I want and should give up and settle now.

But i have come to that conclusion that i just "overestimate" my age. 

We really have the time to get what we need done. Just because the media makes it seem that the older you get the less likely it is that your dreams of fame, traveling, or being successful will happen doesn't make them true.

DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU HEAR OR READ!

it's a crock of shit. we HAVE the time we just take it for granted.

my advice:

keep doing what you're doing because eventually that first piece will chip away and you'll begin your journey. and if an obstacle gets in the way, stay TRUE to your heart. do not always put other people before yourself, because who's going to put you in front of their own well being? no one. 

Even if you go for what you want, and you fall... you will never live with the regret of never giving it your best shot.

my quote of the night:

"so what?"

-matt-

So it's been a while....

so..i realize it's been a while and i think to keep myself sane, i need to get back into this.

let's go with a topic first: Music

The music has been going well! I'm discovering a good amount of new places that can help out in terms of booking shows, and getting my name out there. The album is doing good, from what i hear most people like it and honestly that was my biggest fear. "will people like my record?" i mean i know it's my first album, but just the idea i was wishing people would dig. in terms of a "message" being sent through my music ( not too much of a cliche), i feel like time will send the message itself.

ok, NEXT topic : Love Life

well, i'll keep this short mainly because i don't have much to say. 

It's a strange feeling knowing that all you thought you knew was wrong for you. Kind of finally putting down the facade and realizing maybe certain feelings weren't meant for certain people. I always claim, however, that my life is a movie....i still believe it. given the right time, right girl, and the right soundtrack.... things will fall into place.

I think i'll keep the last one general: LIFE

LIFE...it's just been such a funny thing lately.

i said to a friend of mine the other day... 

"it's like solitude heals the cut, and nature is the band-aid."

I honestly don't know if that makes sense to anyone but myself, but i wouldn't be blogging if i didn't want to find out!

I mean we all need time alone, it's obvious. But when has time alone ever felt perfect? when has that car drive, with no destination and the right CD, just felt so perfect in time? I always tell people ..

"i got nothing but time, and a full tank of gas."

it's a cheesy quote i know, but it honestly leaves so much room for exploring and it's a wild idea, you know? just getting in the car and driving with no place to go but forward.

then nature...man forget it! Seeing things that were just built to be natural, and have stayed that way blow your mind! it's like therapy......just FREE! haha

what i say is...if you have the means, please try it. it is so choice! 

just get in your car and drive! see what the surrounding world really has to offer you...and when you get back let me know how you feel.

hmm my quote of the day...

"never die young"

got to love james taylor.

-matt-

BACK WITH THE D&D

So I'm home from the Poconos!!! well actually I've been back, i just haven't had much time to sit down and write (not that I'm trying to neglect you or anything!), but i just needed time to reflect.

on what...i still don't know.

Now i thought going to the Poconos was going to be this eye opening experience where I'd truly find myself out among the wild.....no homo.however, and my luck..none of that happened.i did however come across a great discovery, and probably the main idea of me going up there anyway. And that is realizing how living on my own would be. i mean i wasn't deathly afraid of being by myself, i knew i could take care of myself, and i found things to do.....and that was in the middle of the woods!! haha so i think I'm fairly capable of living alone and enjoying space with no one to fill it but myself. 

i think that was the real deal behind me going up there. It's just funny how u go somewhere expecting soo much, and come out short of that expectation...but if you step back and take a look at what you've done, you'll find a lesson learned from it.

i think with these blogs I'm going to start a quote of the blog...i most likely won't be able to remember who I'm quoting from unless it's myself...but i think i got a good one to start off:

"it's bullshit, and it's bad for you"-George Carlin

enough said.

-matt-

Mt. Pocono ....Part 1

so.....how's that for a view?

It's day one of the poconos, and my minds just kind of blow away. i don't really have a constant thought processing through my troubled brainium !(ok so maybe brainium wasn't the best choice of a word, but i'm rolling with it)

the ride up was long, got kinda lost, then back on track..however i did get to listen to Nickel Creek the entire way up, and if you haven't heard of them...please do urself the favor. they're an amazing group, amazing writers, amazing everything...haha ok so beside sounding like a 10 year old girl, they're very talented. They also just make the ride up here enjoyable. The music just takes me back to this same spot every time. nothing but woods, the lake...deer...nature.

my mind hasn't really cleared yet, i'm still tryin to write alot down, and get more ideas for tunes. i have a new one inspired by a troubled girl back home....sometimes wish people knew what they were worth. but thats where i'm at now..not really any different then when i left, but i'll post when i'm about to leave and let u know how it is.

i'll be ready when love comes to town.

-matt-

I gave in my rainchecks ...for a sunny day

So the idea has occured to me that maybe it's time for me to take a step forward, and none back. I rolled around with my neighbor BIGGIE today and talked....

it seems that i have let this thing called "kindness" be taken for granted, however if i don't show any at all, i'm considered less of a man for it. it just doesn't make sense sometimes..
you either do to much, or just none at all. and either way people yell at you for it!

where's the happy medium? i need to find it...

..and i don't mean to make this blog a type of " wax on, wax off" phylisophical blog, but for some reason i've just been having more broad thoughts then normal. I guess it's what happens when the king doesn't get enough sleep...


I'm leaving for the mountains on sunday, in some radical way to "find myself." well not really, i just think i need a break from..well people. it's not that i have anything against them, i just need that time off to rethink my steps ahead of me. I'm in no way looking to come home after three days, and be some kind of " changed man," however i would like to have a better grip, and a better look on things. I think one of my greatest flaws is that i ask for advice from others when i can't even take advice from myself. it's a wild concept, i know. But just think about that...


I'll hit this up again before i leave for the mountains, and type out all my ideals, and then when i come back i'll try to compare ....who knows.....maybe it's just what the boys needs.

goodnight.


-matt-



p.s. glad to know d&d has extra large cups of coffee.....lets go 24 oz!!!!

so, let's just say.....it's hott outside....k? cool!

so i live in New Jersey, and at the current point in time, this has to be the hottest place on earth. besides our ever growing pollution in this state, it's just a rediculous hott mess here. and the pollution certainly doesn't help. ...but neighter does the humidity! oh well, i'm over it. my heads been throbbing all day, and the brand new central air in the house isn't helping, so i'll stop complaining about it, and just deal.

i've found myself in such a wierd place lately. i think that its just been my annoyance with life. don't get me wrong i love the people and things in my life, but i just.........kinda need a break. get my head back in the game, you know? and i want to travel! o man do i want to travel, but then again if i travel...i'll travel alone, which is boring. so it's this constant paradox that i just keep circling over and over. i don't know...maybe it's just me, .....and this heat!!!!haha

well, what i can say is that i'm ordering the new cd's tonight, and they'll be ready for sale in probly the next two weeks, which is very exciting! along with the new t-shirts! i'vejust been trying to keep my fingers crossed that everything comes out ok...haha i'm always worrying about something.....

i've actually come to enjoy this " blogging" idea. i'm not here to state my political veiws, or protest against war, or kick knowledge about global warming....


rather, i'm here just to simply talk, and say wut's on my mind. not that anyone would really care to know what i'm thinking because they probly have problems of their own, however it's a great stress relief.i can just sit and type to people that i don't know, about whatever i want, and hope that someone feels the same way.....it's a kinda crazy,cool idea. but as my eyes close, and my head feels like a bowling ball, i realize i'm falling asleep on the computer...and i'm going to take a nap.


hope to hear from someone who's as concerned about themselves as i am..

=)

-matt-

itunes..and me ...perfect together

hello bloggers of the world! i'm back for round two of this blog experience, and man i have alot to say!

my album "Good Man Down" was just added to iTunes! i just have to wait 6 weeks for it to be verified(sucks) but hey atleast it's up there!

it's real exciting to work on something for that long and to finally say, hey i'm done. thats been the worst part about putting together this album. most artists out today have no idea how the recording aspect of the cd happens so they just go in..lay down tracks and wait for it to come out. but what about the guy who sits behind his computer for nights on end making your album?

for the past 2 months i've had sleepness nights of just straight work with this cd, and now that it's done i'm just happy i can move on from it, and make something happen.

i played a surprise show tonight with a group called "Socratic." and the lead singer just astounds me. he's got that James Dean cool factor to him, but writes like Edgar Allen Poe. his writing is rash and beautiful at the same time...one of his lines goes:

"when you were pissed and on the rag, i waited around but now i'm packin' my bags"

blows my mind to use that kind of reference in a tune, but the way he does it fits. sometimes i wonder if being a songwriter i'm supposed to have that "cool","mysterious" factor about myself. to be completely honest i'm too open of a person to be like that, however i do have my quiet moments which arent always a bad thing...it's just how i get.

other than all that, my day was ok, and just plain i guess...but as i sit here with heavy eyes trying to make this nightlight of a computer screen keep me awake, i find my self falling faster into a sleep mode. so goodnight!


-matt-

Day 1, of the rest of my life...

well, this is something new. I've never been the "blogging" type, however lately I've just found that i have too much to say and not enough people to listen.

I'll start simple.

My name is Matt, I'm live in New Jersey. I'm a musician by choice and a student by force.
I'm sometimes a bit too sarcastic, but that's just me being honest or hiding behind a joke. My self defence mechanism isn't entirely secure, however it works for me! =)

another funny fact is that I'm a horrible speller. i just did a spell check for this bad boy, and already about 6 words were spelled incorrectly. go figure!

I don't honestly have much to say as my first blog , it's just for you to get to know me I'm assuming. and to be quit honest there isn't much to know...it's as simple as this:









if you love music, you've figured me out.


-Matt-